My Blog

No matter how many years I’ve been through this my stomach still turns; first day of school always elicits both jitters and joy from me. I had been in a very long vacation. My summer break seemed to had last for eight months. I have had no social life for that span of time. I spent those days reading books, watching tv, doing chores, browsing the net and studying for the entrance exam. I had almost forgotten the feeling of student’s life. Freedom is great, wonderful and amazing, especially if it is a freedom from doing school work. Having that kind of liberty, however, doesn’t always give me the excitement I can get from school. In fact, it yields boredom in one way or another. Well, now I’m starting my first year in college. I couldn’t deny that I dreaded the first day of class. It wasn’t because of the fear that something dangerous would happen, but the fear of not knowing what to expect, the anxiety of not being accepted or couldn’t blend in, and the apprehension of the things that might happen which I couldn’t work out with. The first day came. I entered the room. The sight of the other students was very daunting. Some of them looked smart, others were calm, and few looked a little like me - nervous, shy and excited. There were only eleven students - including me - in that class. A very small group of people. The class started, and would be over after four hours. Of course, in the first day of class, students were required to know each other, so the instructor asked us to introduce ourselves one by one in front of the class. She gave us 4 minutes apiece, then we were all like: "WHAT?". It was too long, we all thought. I was really lucky that I wasn’t the first one. I still got time to think and gather data and facts about myself. My name was called. I stood up and was hoping my knees wouldn’t give way. I was shaking and trembling a bit. It was hard to walk due to my legs were starting to wobble as though for that moment it was made of jelly. I opened my mouth and started to speak, but my voice was hoarse so I cleared my throat and started again. At the end of my turn, I sighed and felt very relieved that I made it okay. It wasn’t great but I believed that I made my speech interesting and entertaining - there was a part in which they laughed at on what I had said, it wasn’t because they wanted to make fun of me, but because they found it funny. At the end of the last person’s speech, I learned so many things about my classmates. I discovered that I was the only minor in our class, everybody else’s 18 and over. There were students who already have children. I found out that most of us desire to be in health business - nurses, doctors and surgeons. Talking in front of people you didn’t know was not an easy job. It was difficult to keep the flow of the conversation or whatever you’re talking about. It was like you know what you’ve got to say, but then when you started to open your mouth you suddenly didn’t know how to say it. Owing to the fact that there were only twelve people in the room, it was not hard to get attention, appreciation and applause. My first day wasn’t bad. It was less intimidating than it appeared to be. My first day of class was also my first day of riding in a public bus alone. It was scary but exciting at the same time. The only problem is I have to wait for 15 - 30 minutes for some buses and not to mention the icy air.

It didn’t matter whether I looked cool or fool. What mattered was I became myself, my true self, didn’t feign or anything. I just hope I become more fluent in English and………. taller. Nobody knows what it will do to my confidence but me.